


loki - haunting me

by tumbling_into_chaos



Series: high between two lofty towers [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Asgard (background), Dissociation, Gabriel (Supernatural) is Loki, Gabriel Needs a Hug (Supernatural), Gen, Missing your Family, Pre-Canon, alcohol mention, but it doesn't affect him, childhood memories (implied), probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:00:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29042769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tumbling_into_chaos/pseuds/tumbling_into_chaos
Summary: Gabriel left heaven and became Loki.He's the trickster now, the jokster of Asgard, but he can't escape the memories.
Relationships: Gabriel (Supernatural) & Sigyn (Norse Religion & Lore)
Series: high between two lofty towers [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2130669
Comments: 3
Kudos: 2





	loki - haunting me

**Author's Note:**

> title from Bring Me The Horizon - Drown

Asgard's mead tasted of ash.

Loki slammed his empty jug on the table, and didn't feel the impact. The voices around him seemed too soft, too muted, and the lights weren't blinding. 

“Loki?” Sigyn sounded like she was speaking into a pillow and her hand on his shoulder felt like cotton. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

She was frowning at him.

“That's it, I'm getting you out of here.” Her voice weaved in and out of focus, but the words registered all the same. When cotton hands started pushing and pulling he stood in one quick motion. He didn't pull a muscle, didn't stumble or fall and somehow that was disappointing. The chair clattered to the ground with a dull _hmpf_.

He considered trying to speak again, then decided the effort wasn't worth it. Cotton hands, Sigyn's hands, landed on his back and manouvered him around the crowd of people.

Loki wondered vaguely since when Asgard's colours weren't bright anymore. They would be an affront to his eyes, usually, but now they seemed dull and far away. Like he was halfway to an alternate dimension.

He giggled at the thought, even if it wasn't particularly funny and he barely heard his own voice.  
“What was it this time?” Sigyn asked, and she sounded exasperated. Probably. Maybe worried.

He blinked. The halls around them were empty, and he wondered just how long they must've been walking to leave the feast behind.

Not long enough, apparently, because Sigyn kept walking.

“Loki!” she called, in that weird tone, and still too soft to his ears.

It took him a moment to remember her question.

 _The Magpies,_ he wanted to say, but the words refused to leave his mouth and so he forced his shoulders to shrug instead.

“You can't keep doing this to yourself, Loki.” She turned to look at him. She was frowning. “You'll have to move on at some point. Even if you won't tell me what from.” The last part was said quiet, but sharper, somehow, and Loki latched onto that.

He made some chocked noise, in an attempt to answer, but the words were still elluding him.

Stupid Magpies.

Stupid black and white wings.

Stupid Lucifer.

...

 _No,_ he thought, weirdly detached from even his own mind, _you don't think about that._

He had made a deal with himself, when he came to Asgard. A new life, and no more memories.

But his brothers seemed to hide behind every corner. In Odin's booming voice, Frigga's quiet laugh, in Thor's stumbles as he tried to walk. In bloody magpie wings.

Even the curse lacked all frevour.

He realised that there were cotton hands on both his shoulders now, shaking him.

He blinked, recognised Sigyn after a few seconds of staring. Her eyes were wide, her muscles tense. She looked almost frantic, and he found himself frowning. He must've zooned out again.

 _It's okay,_ he wanted to say, _don't worry,_ but the words still refused to form. So he curved his mouth into a meaningless smile instead, skin moving and stretching, and soft fabric shifting against his arm as he raised a hand, touched her elbow, carefully and hopefully soft. He wasn't quite sure, and the gods were so breakable.

She stopped shaking him, at least, and her eyes stopped being quite so wide. Even as they were still shining.  


There was a beat of stillness, then Sigyn spoke again.

“I'm getting you to bed now,” she said, and she sounded almost as chocked up as Loki felt.

He didn't protest as she stirred him through the palace halls, found his chambers and pushed him down on his bed still fully clothed.

It was evident she wanted him to sleep, so when she let go of him he laid down and pulled the covers up to his chin.

They felt too soft to him too, almost unreal.

For a moment Sigyn just stood there, hovering, and he wondered if he should do something.

But then she sighed and turned around and left, and Loki turned to stare at the ceiling instead.

After a while the lights started dimming and he wondered vaguely if he would ever tell them that he didn't need sleep, or that their mead really didnt effect him unless he tried.

He wondered a great many things, laying there, but none of them stuck in his mind, drifting away again before he could truly grasp them.

He lay there in his bed and waited, and wondered if this would be mentioned in the morning too.< /p>

It was dark now; the sun must have set on Asgard.

A clock was ticking, somewhere in his room, running on Sigyn's magic because he had once mentioned that he liked the sound.

Loki lay there in his bed, under too soft covers, and listened to the ticking clock, and noted vaguely and with a strange sense of relief that at least he couldn't see the stars from here.

When the servants came in the morning, he still tasted ash on his tongue and he silently cursed the magpies.

**Author's Note:**

> don't ask me why i'm suddenly so motivated to write all these one-shots because i don't know, but uhm. here you go i guess.  
> thank you for reading, and feedback would as always be very much appreciated.


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